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|wiredshut (profile) wrote, |
on 9-21-2005 at 11:05am
|Current mood: All glowy and shiny!
Subject: Love, life and happiness.
|i sounded so stupid yesterday. im the happiest i have been for as long as i can remember. i mean i get doubts and severe worries- nothing good ever lasts and this is too good to be true. but putting that aside all i can say is that im happy. i was so busy moaning yesterday (something that i do way too often) that i forgot to mention something. i went into registration yesterday and clare said that this girl called lucy (that i knew of and knew the name of but had never spoken to) had given her a necklase to give to me. "to give to vicky" so she knew my name and was giving me a necklace. that reminds me that there are good people in the world that make the effort even if they dont know the person. im wearing the necklace right now. its gorgous. she gave it to me because "she thought it would compliment my face and match my style" its a black lace choker with black beading hanging from it (coz im the only one with that kind of style at school). i forget that most of the year know who i am because i am different. i was moaning yesterday about it all but i shouldnt have. because i love it. really really love it. people know me. i, and people that i care about think that i look good and i love to be alone. that may sound wierd to some and it may sound like i am just saying that but i really do. i have the most over active imagination that you could ever dream of, and i love it. i disappear. no one has a clue just how much i dream and fantasize. i do it every single spare minute and even some of the minutes that arent spare. from the moment i wake up to the minute i go to sleep. thats not counting my dreams (that i usually cant remember). i can appear perfectly normal when im day dreaming. i dont really have a dreamy countanance and i dont really seem like a dreamer at all. i love it. i love the other world that i live in. it sometimes is horrible because my over active imaginination is seriously paranoid, im able to see that when im happy but when im a bit down it pains me to think of what others think of me. i hate it. im also quite insecure. i dont think that people who know me know this- maybe its obvious but i hope its not coz i dont want pity and i think people would hedge around me and i dont want that. i just wanted to correct myself from my silly and pointless entry yesterday, because i am happy. this is a good point in my life and i am going to make the most of it and bask in the glow of my incredably radiant emotions.