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sendmemoney (profile) wrote,
on 9-26-2005 at 8:49pm
i want to think that if i had the capacity , i'd spit in your face , tie your sunglasses to a brick and throw it through your window into everything that matters to you . but even if i had it in me , i wouldn't give you that satisfaction . i know ... no ... i want to know that you're just saying things you don't mean , thinking of the things i'm most sensitive about and attacking me because maybe that last watermelon martini was a little too much to handle . i want to think that this is why . i never want to hear you say it though . i never want to hear you say another word because the last ten million you've said have been running circles in my head for the past three days . i could repeat to you every single letter , every typo , every burning adjective . i want to repeat to you every single letter and watch as your face crumples in when you realize what you said , watch as your stomach twists when you remember what you said in days prior . i want to fly into a rage , kick in your door , take knives to all your furniture , your clothes , your bedsheets , and just torch the place . watch it all burn down in one night from one tiny little flame that escalated to a sea of fire . be what you want me to be to make it easier for you to deal with the fact that you destroyed me . i want to KNOW this is tearing you apart inside . i want more satisfaction than just the fact that i'm trying to be adult about this . i want you ... out of my life for good , memories deleted for that eternal sunshine , so the tears no longer rain down unstoppable while i'm trying to be calm , get ready for work , study for my test . it's the closure that everybody seeks that's really just an excuse to see if he's shed any tears over this , see if he's taken that picture down yet . i don't want that closure . i'm done with you . you've been replaced .
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