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stay_c (profile) wrote,
on 10-10-2005 at 9:52pm
I need to make better choices...

I've officially decided that I'm not going to make anymore stupid choices. No more sex, no more weed, a cutback in drinking, etc. I need to clean up my act and stop being stupid and find real happiness.

My friends are starting to worry about me so I know what I'm doing to myself is affecting them and that's not cool with me. I'm the problem solver, not the problem creator.

I don't think I'm going to hang out with Buck as much. Might cutback on going to Java Jack's, it's getting way crowded in there anyways. I'm deffinately going to try breaking away from Bobby also. That will be hard until December but I can do it.

Jack I'm not going to be able to get away from, and I don't want to. He's awesome. I'm just going to be smarter when I'm around him from now on. I'm going to have Drew and Chrissy make sure of that.

I have discovered that my friends really do care about me with everything I've been doing lately though. That truly does help make me happier and want to stop hurting them with my choices.

I just wish I completely understood why I made the choices I did. Drinking is fine, all my friends join me with that one so I'm not really worried about it. The weed with Jack was a "gotta try it once" kind of moment, probably won't happen again. The unprotected sex with guys I don't really know much about on the other hand is what could be the most dangerous for me, and that's the main reason of everyone's worry. I promised Connie that I would stop. I'm going to do my hardest to live up to that promise.

Today is the starting of a better me... I hope.

God help me with this.
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