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|brokenmentality (profile) wrote, |
on 10-16-2005 at 2:24pm
|Music: Ani DiFranco
|what a depressing day. as much as i want to get up and wash my face.. i just lay here in a dark room wishing i was everything that right now im lacking so bad.
my car is getting to me, i dont have a ride to work tonight. i dont know when im gonna have something to drive... my mom is bending over backwards to make it easier for me, but for godsake i've had my licene for over a year now, she shouldnt have to stress out so i can drive her car for a day... if only i was just in walking distance.
for about 20 minutes i was gonna stay home, brandi was gonna cover for me, and i was gonna pick up her wednesday... but then i realized that i would rather go to work depressed and upset and beable to see him on wednesday. but thats just me, thats just a sacrifice that i'm willing to make so we can spend time together. whatever.
i just want it to be winter so i can come home and bundle up and drink hot chocolate and chai and not feel guilty about NOT being outside on a beautiful day.
i've been thinking about college alot lately. i dont know what im going to do. im a fucking senior.. and i have no idea what i want to do after high school. something about that terrifies me immensely.
i just want to be out of here. away from everything that i've always known, or maybe everything that i've never truely known.