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|aushpog (profile) wrote, |
on 1-8-2006 at 7:48pm
|Current mood: good
Music: david crowder = come and listen
Subject: WHY DO I EVEN TRY...
okay so today started off with a hitch but ended up great with baptism. god just filled me up with joy, not happiness that dwells on the consequences... but joy. it was so awesome seeing people coming into a new life with the lord and professing it proudly and contently.
my life is a rollercoaster. i feel as if, one second, i am happy (the temporary kind), and then, the next, i am depressed about one thing or another. i hate that!
like just now. i put myself in a dumb situation. i said hey to a person and knew the conversation would end up the same... it would go nowhere. and, of course, i predicted correctly. why do i even try when i full well know how things will end up? i have no idea. why do i even try...
and yet, at the same moment, i am sweetly reminded of the seemingly "behind-the-scenes" folks who are always there to make me feel absolutely... wonderful. in fact, they are far from being behind the scenes. they are the foreground of the play.