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|courtney115 (profile) wrote, |
on 2-8-2006 at 4:59pm
|Current mood: dissapointed
Music: Mairead- The Von Bondies (their only good song)
|I'm pretty dissapointed in myself. I was reading Amy N's xanga and I realize that I'm probably one of the people that she bitches about. I think I come across as an asshole, to a lot of people. To the popular people that I constantly trash talk, to the sevvies that I act like I'm better than, to the asian kids who seem to be so immensly perfect. I know it's bad and that I shouldn't be like that. It sucks sometimes, not having a whole posse of friends and people knowing who you are, but only because who you've gone out with. I mean, who am I when people refer to me? I'm the girl who goes out with Chris and is best friends with Will. I'm the white girl that talks quickly and is really sarcastic.
I know that I act stupid around boys, and that's just really lame. But I mean, I don't want them to think I'm smarter than them or, well, better than them. To be honest, there are a lot of qualities that I don't like about myself, and I'm a different person when I'm alone. There are flaws. What can I do? I'm not strong enough to change.