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|ladymcgrady (profile) wrote, |
on 3-22-2006 at 10:01pm
|Current mood: distressed
Subject: y do i keep doing this!!
|I've realized that I'm becoming part of a vicious cycle :( I've been so moody and so depressed lately that I feel on the verge of a nervous breakdown and it sux! I wanna be happy again, I hate mood swings or whatever the heck it is that's controlling my life right now :-\ And I hate it cuz it makes me irritable and then Bob gets sad or confused cuz I'm sad or mad and I wont tell him why and then itz like I'll be mad about sumthin stupid and I'll be so afraid of getting into a fight with Bobby over it that I dont tell him whatz buggin me until he gets all quiet cuz he knows I'm upset bout sumthin and then I feel so guilty about upsetting the poor guy that I become all sweet and romantic to try to make him happy again and of course that never works cuz he knows me too well but itz like a big cycle...I get upset > Bob gets upset > I try to make myself happy for Bob's sake and be sweet to cheer him up...and then who knows what, eventually I have a breakdown and end up crying to him apologizing for treating him like crap and all that and i just hate being like this...womanhood sux sometimes, and I dont even know if itz related to that, I just think there's sumthin wrong with me :(