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mudpiegrl (profile) wrote,
on 5-10-2006 at 9:18pm
Know what I love? Pressure. It’s awesome. Of course there’s the whole “do well in school” that everyone has. At least I’m in school, though, as opposed to some people. Then there’s the “you don’t do anything”. That’s fun, too, because when you’re never home, you’re clearly doing nothing. “You’re so messy. Why don’t you clean?” I’m sorry, am I impeding on your space? “When are you going to go running, Jorie?” Fuck you. I’m allowed to be a fat ass. After all, you are too. “You’re wearing that?” Yes, I am. I either don’t care or quite like it. Besides, I’m too fat for your fasionista attitude. “Hanging out with Q and Kristen are not going to help you get better.” Maybe not, but they’re my friends if it’s ok with you. “Don’t you have any friends at college?” No. I don’t like people at college. They have entirely different priorities, like being famous and experimenting with drugs and high school drama. “You’re not trying hard enough.” You’re right. I’m not. I’d love to spend all day doing artwork, but I have no means to experiment with the mediums I want. Nor do I have the time for it. “How are you going to pay for that?” With my money. From my job. That I actually have. “You’re never home.” Yea, I’m busy. “When are you going go-carting with us?” When I have a moment to be home/do homework/art/lose weight/clean my room and car. When I’m done with all that.
I love my family. They want me to be just like Tyler. They know damn well when he was eighteen he wasn’t doing shit. They don’t want me to be like him. They want me to be like twenty-five year old Tyler. Well, that’s nice and all, but I'm not Tyler. I'm Jorie. And I'm sorry that I'm not what you want. I'm not sorry I'm me for me. I'm sorry I'm not the perfect clone.

I'm sick of crying. I've cried nearly every hour of the day today. And I'm tired. I want to sleep.
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