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brucerey43 (profile) wrote,
on 8-4-2006 at 3:00am
These last few days have been going alright, went to sunsplash yesterday, got sunburnt and that was about all. I talked for a long time the other night to Yeleni. She may be the one person who somewhat understands me, we will always be nothing more than friends though but shes still a really cool person. We talked a lot about her boyfriend whos in Iraq now and how she misses him and just stuff of that nature. She knows who I like too, well actually were all kind of friends because its me, her, and Dee and we all met in our Comp I class last year. I don't know, im not much of a romantic person and I don't think Dee is either but shes really cool to be around and I could see myself with her. Were definetly going out to dinner when she gets back in the states i think. I really need someone there to comfort me, who understands what im going through. I decided im getting counseling at the college, im gonna check on it next week. I need help from somewhere, mostly with trying to get along with my mom. In a year im leaving no matter what happens, I don't exatly have any great friends to live with but at least i will be happy somewhere. No more yelling and screaming and bitching all the time. I can't possibly get along with anyone any worse than i do with her. I wouldn't be at all shocked if im in the dorms come Janruary if things keep moving the way they are. I prefer getting a regular place, but really most of my friends either aren't dependable or don't have their shit together enough yet to really be on their own. I really am giving my mom every chance in the world to help herself, and she just keeps being lazy or making excuses. I finally quit giving her extra money and stuff, when she bitches about not having shit and then spends $25 on alcohol and drinks then thats a problem. Or like tonight at walmart she wanted some candy so i got her some, well she wanted a candy bar too and i told her no. Well i stepped out of line to get something and had her wait there and then i look on the conveyor belt thingie and sure enough she tried to sneak the damn candy bar on there. I have soo had enough of her stupid games. I didn't get along with her well before her stroke, and I sure as hell don't now either. She seems to think I owe it to her to take care of her, and I don't. I can't help it she never saved anything in 52 years of living, and i really shouldn't have to pay the price for it. I have been trying to stay away from home as much as possible, i really am miserable because of her. I think once school starts, im mostly going to sleep at other peoples houses or dorms or whatever at least some so that i dont have to deal with any of her problems or bitching and complaining. I am getting a check in September, which should be for $2800 from the school. If anyone wants to get a place or needs a roommate, they should definetly let me know and we can talk about it. It certainly doesn't hurt to talk and find out my options in case things keep going this way. Aside from that, I am ready for class to start up again. I want to go back to school, because this summer really hasn't been all that great. I'm also maybe looking to hook up with someone and possibly be in a relationship, which would make things easier for me. I'm just so confused sometimes about what I should do about all of this.
peace out
Bruce
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