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brucerey43 (profile) wrote,
on 10-8-2006 at 4:39am
So I've decided to start writing in here again, it seems like forever since I last did. This last week was both good and bad in many ways, im really unsure of what to say. I know what im feeling, mostly it's pain but im not sure how open to be with the people causing me to feel this way. My life is just so weird, I realize why I'm unhappy but I really feel powerless to change it. I will say though, this semester is certainly better than my freshmen year was. At least I don't feel so alone, most of my friends now don't really get it. They don't really grasp why for days and weeks on end I would cry myself to sleep and just wish to not exist anymore. A lot of that had to do with my mom having the stroke, I think the rest of it has to do with my personal relaitonships. I am still kind of borderline on how i feel about life, although things are getting better. Things have been happening lately that have just made me think, it's amazing how someones advice changes your outlook on a situation. I wish i could just go on here and say how i really feel, but it would do nothing productive. Just make one of the few people who actually gives a shit about me pissed off, and another one probably uncomfortable. Part of the problem with my life is that a relationship isn't really happening, partially because I don't have time to network with everyone on the face of the earth and hangout and party. At least I have stopped drinking, it's one of the few things im really happy with right now. I will drink again at some point, but being sober for a little while is certainly not bad. I just want to go to sleep and have a nice cry and wake up and do all the shit that I need to do tommorow.
peace out
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