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|kentnj2 (profile) wrote, |
on 10-20-2006 at 4:22am
|Current mood: tired
Music: 30 Seconds to Mars - The Kill
Subject: Late Night/Early Morning
|i find that i dont sleep as much as id want to. wich is kind of odd considering i have the time to sleep. what could be wrong? 4:24 in the a.m. with school in a few hours, all i can say is thank ___ its friday (insert religious figure ____ ). ive been struggling the past few days with myself because it seems that something has really altered who i am, and im worried that ive already changed and i cant turn back. nobody ever talks about the bad stuff of anything yet its there to bite you in the ass whenever is most inconvinient. am i more of a bad person in the end? i dont think i have ever been this secluded ever. ive never not had friends. exactly how does anyone (mostly me) expect to be motivated if absolutely nothing currently in my life motivated me to do anything...on a lighter note i have actually been motivated these past few days...to find out where the new bridge goes that they spent like 3 months putting up, causing so many traffic jams. it looks like its some sort of walking or bike path, wich for some strange frickin reason is appealing to me. go figure indeed....is it considered journal etiquette to keep listening to the same song that you put even though this is your 3rd time listening to it? DAMNIT i need some woohu buddies to clue me in on the happenings of all this. im such a...n00b i believe they are called.hehe...trying not to fall into the stereotypical behavior for most journal-ers i will tell you that ive been suprisingly chipper these past few days. i could either be possibly accepting things as they are or they are puping something through the air vents at school. ive really been wanting to talk about my love life, but its been hard because thats always a touchy subject, i dont have much to talk about because i havent known love since early middle school (if it really was love). but since then its not that i havent had the opportunity to fall back in love...well...actually yes it is, because i havent dated anybody for longer than a few weeks since middle school. pathetic? no of course not...at least not untill i tell you that since early middle school ive been with 3 girls. i dont get how i actually forgot the feeling, cause i remember how amazed i was at the time. i do miss it, but im not talking about it...so...im going to go jump in the shower and watch some toons before i head into class.
~often times i wonder if im talking to myself through an online journal i paid 5 dollars for~