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blazerelmyn (profile) wrote,
on 12-10-2006 at 2:00am
Current mood: tired
Music: Just Feel Better - Carlos Santana ft. Steven Tyler
Subject: Part of me says let it go, everything must have its season..
So. Things have been progressing relatively well on Val. Dax has gone half-missing in action, compared to usual. It's sort of weird to be the active person on Val, and Dax be the semi-inactive one. Roles have been reversed and it's -weird-.

On a good note, Adri willingly handed Crystina off. Meaning Skyza now roleplays her. S'a good thing. I think Skyza will do just fine at being a miniature Pamina. ;]

Speaking of Pamina, I've had one hell of an urge to write lately. Mainly about Pamina. I just..don't know how to mix Loth and Val without completely screwing up both versions of the character. Working on it! I promise.

And now,

I rant.

I've talked to Jon about this a lot lately. It feels good, to vent to a friend. Just..vent. He very, very rarely gives any sides or points on the whole Angelomatter. Just..listens.

Things are crazybatshitinsane on the Angelo front. One second he's fine. The next, he's bitching and yelling at me for the stupidest things in the entire world. I tried to have a decent conversation with him the other day, about things totally unrelated to us or anything we've been fighting about (After he told me I "couldn't have a serious conversation" with him, no less), and the only thing he could do was launch into insults toward me. Nothing more.

Today, I woke up to find him growling at me (On my uploading screenname, no less.) for laying into Rob the other night. Not because I laid into Rob, nono. Because apparently, me laying into Rob (It was not handled in the best way, granted, but it was because I'm afraid of seeing him get hurt. It should be noted that this situation has been resolved already.) means that I have a thing for Rob. ..

I have mentioned Bizz how many times? I'm rather serious about the fact that he and I are trying to settle on a date to tie the knot. It's not as simple as throwing some numbers into a hat and drawing them out. It's a big step. We want it to be right. We want the date to mean something. Simply because Angelo and I discussed marriage.. *Shakes head.* Not a thing about Dustin and my relationship means that it is going to end up like all of the rest of my relationships. To be honest, beyond Angelo, I'm getting sick of the comments I get on my entries that reference to that very thing. My friends are supposed to be supportive of me. They aren't supposed to make a mockery of something I hold dear to me. Frankly, I'd prefer they just disappeared, as opposed to trying to start any crap with me on here.

As far as Angelo goes, one thing I've realized is that I've been way too nice. I have blocked him, despite what a lot of people may think. Numerous times. What wants in, though, will get in. He's showed up on MSN, random screennames of his I've forgotten about, -my- screennames, Xfire.. Whatever. It's why I don't bother to block him. It's why I bother with him at all, because I know not doing so is futile. 'Lest I intend to change my entire internet alias, and let's face it, I don't.

He himself, though, has at times mentioned how he doesn't know why, or is surprised that I still bother with him. To be honest, so am I. I can only mention how many times that I don't care to hear what I did wrong (In his eyes) five thousand times, worded five thousand different ways. To tell you the truth, I'd be ecstatic if I could just get on with my life. But I don't have that choice, apparently.

I apologized to Rob for exploding on him the other night. My reasoning, I'll leave for him to know. The fact of the matter is that it should be noted that I support him through whatever he intends to do, because he is my friend. Angelo should make note here that my friends do mean things to me, outside of potential people for actual relationships. Believe it or not, just because they have a penis does not mean I have some sort of interest in them beyond friendship. Enjoy yourself.

Bizz decided to quest away my last four bars of experience to make Melidias hit 43. After I hit 40, I just burnt out. I have -zero- drive to level right now. Not to mention, no drive to deal with the guild issues at hand. Argh.

I think I've rattled on enough. Time to put a lid on this entry.
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