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jacqui-chan (profile) wrote,
on 7-26-2007 at 8:46pm
Subject: Hmm.
Josh and I are over forever, and most the time I'm okay with that. He was such a jerk in the end that I know I can do better... or I hope. But I still get upset when he wants other girls. like, gorgeous was what he always called me, it was our thing. But then he just called some random girl that he barely even talks to gorgeous... like it didn't mean a thing. i can't help being a little offended... and sad. i try to ignore him and i remind myself constantly how stupid he is, but sometimes i have an overwhelming feeling of sadness that i'll never hold him or kiss him or hear him say "i love you" again. i guess that's normal though. i'll get over it eventually. i just wish eventually would come sooner. it seems like i keep taking 2 steps forward and 1 step back though. i wish it could just all move forward instead. meh, i'm so sick of being sad and missing him... or us as the case may be. i just want to forget it all. i'm trying so hard to eliminate all memories, but i know i can't ever do that. he'll always be a guy i loved, whether or not he's a big dumb jerk. i hate breaking up, i hate feeling sad, and most of all i hate feeling like i did something so wrong. hmm... whatev. i just need to stop thinking about all of this and move on.

if only all that was as easy to do as it is to say!
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