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|tapdanceoveryourheart (profile) wrote, |
on 11-4-2007 at 10:25pm
|Subject: relax baby relax
|aaaah I'm so confused about my life.I don't know what to do.I know I should relax.Realistically I'm graduating in January,I just applied to grad school and I have a job,so my life is pretty much planned out for at least a year.But I'm still stressed.I should relax.I can't seem to relax though.I need to let my psychiatrist know because all this worrying might trigger another bout of depression and send me straight back to the hospital.I feel so fragile lately.Every little thing sends me into an anxious tizzy.I just need to relax.But it's so hard for me.I keep worrying about everything.Money being the foremost of them all.My livelihood.What I'm going to do with my life.A couple of months ago when the therapists and the psychs asked me where I saw myself I couldn't answer them because I saw myself dead.literally.And now that the fog has lifted all I can think about is that question.Where do you see yourself?And I can't answer it again.I hate it.It's all too much to handle.Oh man I definitely have to call my psych soon.She needs to give me better anti-anxiety meds.I'm gonna call her tomorrow morning all panicky and shit hyperventilating because the weight of too much thinking is driving me fucking insane.