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browniedmissj (profile) wrote,
on 12-30-2007 at 11:14pm
Current mood: confused
Music: nothin
Subject: oh man
so whenever i write poetry or anything it's when i'm either mad, estatic about sumthing, slighty depressed or I have no one to go to....
but yeah this kid is just throwing me for a loop. It's like the qualities underneath his false exterior just jumble me around. He's smart and i love that... just overrall knowledgable about the world around us but he isn't obnoxious about his intellegence it just comes out in conversations. But speaking of conversations there is none verbally... just dancing fingers over keyboards, not inflections in voice. It kills me that he won't hang out with me.... is it fear or wat? I'm not gonna bite his head off i just wanna get to know him in person, see if we can hold a conversation about something/anything. I can't be this crazy b/c it can't be wrong to feel or think the way i do. It's been like two months and I've kept myself fixated on an object of my desire/ curiousity. Although we're looking for different things..........and with that note I'm no ones effin booty call. But wtf- i don't know what i want. maybe the long term thing doesn't work for me.. so far it kinda has but maybe i need to just give things a try and before i completely check them off my list of "not-in-a-million-years" things.

confused doesn't have enough letters in it to explain my mood....

i told myself i could do this thing be the hunter and get what I started out for. but to be honest with myself I dont know if I could emotionaly handle it and I thought i could just give it a try..... it's a small portion of the huge life i have left to live and i couldn't hurt. if it doesn't work oh well if it does then that would be great...........goodness gracious... neway i wrote this...

Why, when it all seems so crystal, do they have to breathe more life into you
And fog up the glass you worked so hard to shine
When you think you have the world figured out and then that extra variable gets thrown in
And takes away all meaning to an equation that worked just fine
How you think that “oh things are just getting started” but the gun shot was never fired
And you haven’t made your way to the starting line
When you second guess so much that it becomes the third, the fifth, the sixth time
I can’t hold on to something without any tangibility
All have now are words plainly spoken to me
Actions could unveil something deeper
But should I keep digging if there might not be anything there

alright then enough said....
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