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charlessumnerthatsickfuck (profile) wrote,
on 1-24-2008 at 10:29pm
Subject: zombies
Zombie Attack Plan

1) At first site or word of an undead threat go to the basement and gather your zombie attack pack.*
2) Lock doors of house and barricade windows if the undead are not within site. If zombies are within site, move to the roof immediately and quietly.
3) Lay flat on the roof covered in a blanket. The zombies canít distinguish the blanket from the roof, due to their stupidity. If you do not cover yourself, they will mob your house, aware of your location.
4) Once the zombie mob has moved to a new location (confirmed by the absence of moaning and shrieking), quickly and quietly zombie proof the vehicle of choice. If a cargo/ passenger vehicle and a truck are available, choose both. Include a bike rack on top and grids over window. It should have a large, covered cargo space, high clearance and be in good mechanical shape. An automatic is preferable to a stick, as not all members of your party will be able to use a stick. Siphon gas out of all vehicles in a visible range. Store the gas in a sealable container. Load your vehicle with food supplies, weaponry, a CB radio and tools (including your zombie attack pack). Leave pets and large valuables at home, making individual provision for them.
5) Ask other CB operators what routes are clear. After deciding on the most secure root, advance with haste to a country location with a large body of water. City ports will be crawling with undead. Any of the great lakes will do, or a ocean. Mine is Lake Michigan.
6) After arriving at your secure country area, load your supplies directly onto the largest boat available. While part of your party is unloading, other will stand ready for defense. Board the boat and sail away from shore. It is unknown what zombie aptitude is in water.

7) Good luck!


This has been Baylee's seven steps to surviving a zombie attack. If you take the precaution of preparing a zombie attack pack then these seven steps should ensure your survival in case of a outbreak.
*ATTACK PACK CONTENTS
1) Weapons
a. Long range
i. Gas bombs
ii. Sniper riffles
iii. Cross Bows^
iv. Grenades
v. Flame throwers
vi. Rocket launchers
b. Close Range
i. Baseball Bats^
ii. Golf Clubs^
iii. Shovels^
iv. Shotguns
v. Swords^
vi. Machetes^
2) Navigation
a. Compass
b. Road Maps
c. Nautical Maps
3) Communication
a. CB Radio
b. 2 way radios
c. Crank powered AM/FM radio
4) Cloths Tight fitting and durable
a. sneakers and socks
b. Long-sleeved leather jackets
c. Ski masks or bike helmets
d. Warm thick pants
5) Food
a. Canned meat
b. Potatoes
c. Vegetables
d. Fruits
e. Vegetable / fruit seeds
f. Chocolate*
6) Tools
a. Skeleton Key set
b. Bikes
c. Spare tire and iron/air pump
d. Penicillin, syringe and needle
e. Towel *
f. Harmonica *

* Optional
^ means this weapon is preferable
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