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brownsugar (profile) wrote,
on 1-27-2008 at 6:14pm
Maybe I cared about him more than I gave myself credit for. I hesitated last night when he made his very appealing proposal because I was afraid of any perspective friendship being ruined. He was so eager and willing and he was very genuine about it too. I couldn't think of anything else last night and this morning I decided to relieve my horniness in the only way I saw fit. I did it and I only did what I felt comfortable doing. And, he ended the exchange with "I feel like a slut; a man-slut" and I know that should make me feel dominant, wonderful, sexy, etc. But, it doesn't. I feel horrible. I don't want him to feel like that. I didn't want to use him - I never want to hurt anyone. Yet, I feel like I did that to him. I feel like a horrible person. I don't know what to do to make it up to him. I know I should go talk to him but I don't know how to approach him. He probably hates me right now. MOTHERFUCKER. I hate being frustrated. I need time to sort my thoughts .. and then I will go sort this out.
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