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|pseudo-hope (profile) wrote, |
on 2-5-2008 at 5:11pm
|i don't know why i'm here.
today has just been utterly nostalgic and i just feel so drained.
i miss those day.
the you and me days.
wierd how three years later i still find myself adressing you in this blog. not that i even remotely expect you to read this. mostly i'm hoping you don't. or that you do. not quiet sure yet.
i found your letter.
what's the p stand for?
what the pope is going on in here??
we should start saying that"
it honestly made me cry.
i hate how looking back i'm able to draw all sorts of lines to how i things resulted. your friendship shaped me in ways i didn't think possible, and now we're just number higher in the myspace friends count to each other. but in a way, we we're headed there when we graduated from SAC. or more correctly, i was. i was so focused on finding this idealized high school group of friends that anyone else not fitting that mold was irrelevant. it's not the fact that i still haven't found that niche that arouses these pointless thoughts, just that i still find myself wallowing in things long out of my control.
i could've been a better friend.
should have realized when you were crying out.
shouldn't have let things drift so far away.
shouldn't have let these habits sink so far in.
i don't think its in anyway out of the ordinary either to be thinking this way, just odd that i'm expressing it.
now starts the battle of post/don't post.
why am i here?