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|violet-winter-fields (profile) wrote, |
on 3-23-2008 at 3:08am
|Current mood: uncomfortable
|So I don't really like feeling this way, and it really sucks. I'm far too paranoid for my own good. I don't want to be this way anymore, but it just tends to happen with me. I need to just work past my suspicions and accept things at face value. I thought I was doing so well with this, but once I start developing feelings for someone, I get hit. Blah, I need to change this part of me. I get told that I'm rather confident so often nowadays, but I usually feel entirely opposite to that. Inside I'm just a scared child, both afraid of reaching out and potentially getting burned, and also being alone. I wonder if I'll ever break the cycle. I wish things were different. I wish I knew how to deal with this. Most of all, I wish I knew what the future holds for me. I really need to get over this feeling. It's what fucked up basically all my past relationships. I won't let it fuck up any more.
Sorry, just ignore the emo as it's not typically me. I just need to know there are people out there who know what I'm going through. People who care. People who'll accept all of me for who I am.
Why am I so dependent?
Argh, good night.