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|aaron (profile) wrote, |
on 4-17-2008 at 10:51pm
|He never grows weary. He never let's up. He is never defeated. Time and time again I drive him back, chain him down, and run as hard as my legs can allow.
How are you one step ahead of me? How can you keep your breath?
And though I fall, I am not fallen. Though death seizes me, I do not die. Though I am struck, my body is whole.
I am so weary of fighting him. I want him to just die...but he is me?
Who is more myself? The zealous, devout, vengeful Lazarus? The indulgent, kniving, amiable Aaron? Both with virtue, both with vice. Never at peace. Always at odds.
Hope is an odd thing..."Come all you weary, lay down your loads."
Grace odder still. I am so grateful for all that I have, for the chance to fight this way, to see things from this vantage point.
I don't know where this is going.
I'm sorry? This is an apology. I've disgraced myself and my friends. Those dearest, those I've told I would guard. Time and time again I betray my intentions. But He is there, always beckoning, always welcoming, despite my flaws. I'm going to go to him now, when I feel most useless.
"The Lion's outside of your door, the Wolf's in your bed. The Lion's claws are sharpened for war, the Wolf's teeth are red."