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star-sailor (profile) wrote,
on 6-18-2008 at 6:12am
Current mood: satisfied
Music: Robot Oeuf - Uffie
Subject: Have You Heard The News? Have You Found The Memories Of The Past You Miss So Dearly?
Good morning, reader!
Or good night! Depending on when you consider morning.
Bet you didn't expect me to say that. Or to post so early/late, eh?

Today (or night, but I shall call it today in the future henceforth) was a night of difference. Not a night of change, by any means, but a night of difference. I spent my night watching television shows on the internet. I made tea the proper way (hot), in the way Douglas Adams recommended; I also realized how terrible my tea tasted because it was so low quality. I took a walk around the neighbourhood at four in the morning. I have seriously considered taking an online class at TCC for the summer semester. And I have somehow enjoyed myself this entire time.


On Monday, I woke up early and picked up Christina. We adventured down to the Old Neighbourhood Grill to meet up with Amie, Ara, Mia, Mary, and the infamous Taylor Herron of Missoula. The outlaw himself is in Fort Worth(less) for the week to rape and pillage (and by rape and pillage, I mean have party and pillage Amie's body, hahaha). It was nice to see him again; I don't know him well, but he has always seemed like a cool guy. I would connect with him more thoroughly... but I don't connect with many guys well these days. He would be an exception if I let myself - I trust him because Amie trusts him.

After the Old Neighbourhood Grill, I chilled at home for a bit. Then it was back in the car to a fĂȘte of grand design at Amie's house. I was excited because I hadn't spent time with any of my friends for awhile, and was deserately craving attention and socialization. I was disheartened to find that Ethan was there.


My feelings on Ethan are... varied, at best. I remember the night where his change - his "maturity" - was incited. Travis and I were being mischievous with my mom's alcohol cabinet. They wanted to drink, I didn't, and didn't want to spare any of the alcohol that wasn't mind. But I finally gave in; I let Travis have a little for myself. Then, he and I concocted strange mixes of drinks for Ethan. Some of these didn't have any alcohol at all, but Ethan got very drunk-ish regardless, to the point where he was just acting dumb on a heavy buzz. Ever since that late night, he has changed. He started drinking more often after that experience, and soon made friends with some obnoxious guys who got him into smoking pot, which might I say, was thoroughly unattractive. He drew the line at weed as far as illegal narcotics went, thankfully. He remained obsessed with Amie for over a year and a half when she didn't like him for 5/6ths of the time, and his obsession was not only unhealthy, but unappealing; since I had been his friend for some 13 years, I was his "go-to" man for whining/complaining/confiding.

Eventually his personality degraded, and he became much more obnoxious and annoying. He is an all right guy... in small doses. Otherwise, he is a perverted asshole who has no idea what to do with himself. He still has a heavy crush on Amie, and I don't think she realizes it. What's worse is he is no longer a virgin. He was already obsessed with sex... there are things I won't even begin to mention that he had done previously - things that made me lose all the respect I had built for him over those long years I have known him - things that made me loathe him. Now that he has sex, he doesn't take it seriously. It's just something he likes to do cause he's obsessed with naked women and getting off (how foul to even say that about someone I know). He had sex (multiple times) with his previous girlfriend. I'm fine with that. But after he was broken up with, he had rebound sex with his ex-ex-girlfriend just for jollies, only a week after he was broken up with, when he begs that he is still completely and totally in love with his most recent ex. If you love someone, you don't go off and fuck another girl just cause you were broken up with. That should be out of the question. He is a pervert, and an obnoxious boy. Nothing more.

It was fun, as expected, to be with my friends, though certain things did dampen the mood slightly. My mood anyway, but alas. We sat around and watched Arrested Development, then later went outside. Taylor and Ethan played frisbee; Ara, Amie, and I went bike riding. Amie and I considered riding bikes together last year, but we never got around to it; I'd sincerely like to accomplish that this year (mostly because I want to ride more often, but definitely because I love hanging out with mon Amie (J'amie Amie!)).

After the bike ride, we watched more Arrested Development before we decided to go bowling on the north side of town. Ethan parted ways, and I was able to be more open and expressive, which made me feel much better; I was finally able to (more thoroughly) enjoy myself with my friends. We reached the bowling alley, but it was quite ghetto, and packed with cars. Amie felt uncomfortable, so we decided not to stop there. Ara suggested we adventure downtown; we ended up driving in circles for a bit before stopping at the top of a parking garage. We chilled there, spitting off the side of the seventh floor roof, chit chatting, taking pictures, and acting generally silly (as usual). We dropped Ara off, then returned to Amie's house to depart. I was given a later Christmas present of money and a shirt. I was sad, because I didn't thank Amie for it properly; I was more confused than anything, hahaa. But now that I have it (I'm wearing the shirt presently), I am really glad. It's exactly what I wanted, even though I didn't want it. I owe her times a billion.

The night was very fun. I lament I wasn't able to enjoy it as much as I hoped I would, but that's alright. Frustrations seem to be a way of life for me.



I would like to take an online class this summer semester. I have been relaxing all summer long, and it has been an extraordinary relief. I haven't really been in the right state of mind for added stress (due to stress), and if I were busy and taxed for time and mental wherewithal, I would certainly be in a pretty rough state. I spend my nights age-long, waking at noon, and falling asleep at four in the morning before the sun rises. I want to enjoy my summer, and I don't want to waste gas running to a place I hate just to receive an education which will not at all benefit me in the long or short run. If this online class is like I think it is, I'll be able to do my schoolwork at my leisure from home, in an environment I'm comfortable in and would enjoy working in, on my computer, which will allow me to take breaks as many times as I wish, and thus get my work done more efficiently, keep the stress away, and save money since gas is now four dollars (I know it's a run on sentence... kill me if you must, but I am a bit tired). TCC has been a joke ever since I've enrolled. I might as well stop stressing out about it and just take classes online (lazily), and enjoy myself. I should have more time for writing (which I have been doing much more often), and devoting to other matters, such as finding a job, socializing, and any number of other things I can't think of in these wee hours of the night. I'm intrigued, I must say.

Tonight I'm not sleeping. Though I enjoy my sleep schedule, I realize it's atrociously poor. I'm going to attempt to reset my internal clock by not sleeping for the day. I realize it's not good for my body, but I don't like sleeping anyway. Well... I do... It just feels odd to go to sleep when I'm not completely exhausted. I have energy right now - enough to last many more hours - and this happens very very rarely. I shall remain awake for the day, and sleep early tomorrow. Then I can resume a normal sleep cycle on normal terms, as well as go to sleep when I believe I should. It works well for everyone. As long as I'm not running a triathlon today, I believe I'll be fine. Maybe I'll take a nap for good measure, though I think that'll only make me more tired.

I want to learn Japanese. Very much. I've always been intrigued, but never had any initiative. There are these elementary Japanese schoolbooks I've found on the internet that come thoroughly recommended, and I've very interested in acquiring. Genki I and so on; they seem quite good, and I think I'd really learn. The reason I'm willing to commit to it (if I got the proper materials, like a decent book or something) is because of my success with French. My class taught me the basics, which were the most difficult to learn. Jean taught me the rest; when we would talk online in French, I was able to watch her speak, and see how she formed her sentences. I would have to interpret what she said on my own, and it wasn't lame cliche things, like you'd typically find in a textbook; it was real conversation. I'd also have to respond to the best of my ability. It was exquisite practice, and I learned much; I have since even spoken to native French speakers, and though they confirm I sound like a robot, they say my French isn't half bad - that it's especially good for someone who just started six months ago. Japanese is such a disparity from both French and English, but I have had a love for Japanese culture since my adolescence; it seems almost natural for me to learn eventually, and I'd like to learn as many languages as possible in my life.

I have ranted far too much. I am happy though. Quite happy. I have issues, sure. And I'm not dealing with them. But tonight, at least, I'm all right with everything. Today is such a unique day/night, reader. I'm ready to stay up the entire night. I'll be productive as possible. Good morning, again, readers. I hope your day is as invigoratingly unique as mine has been.
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