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star-sailor (profile) wrote,
on 7-8-2008 at 12:56am
Current mood: exhausted
Music: The Beaches All Closed - No Kids
Subject: Short-Winded Statements From The Busy Communication Lines (A Story of a Busy Signal)
I suppose I should update, eh?
Strange, it is.
I'm sure I've mentioned this once before, but whenever I feel very happy, I tend to write less.
Which is so absolutely odd, because I don't feel happy at all.
Time has finally returned to its normal speed, but it's like the weather has been predicted to be foggy for months. Like a bog. It's tough to see through, but as long as I take it one step at a time I seem to be going in the right direction. Hopefully I find a compass, or I could just be wandering myself in circles like a book without an ending.

Strange, it is.
What I just said, I mean.
I'm quite tired; sleep deprivation works imaginative miracles, but it's no bueno, chief.

Summer semester two started today. I am attending.
I didn't attend session one. The reason was laziness, to be entirely frank, but in hindsight, I'm very thankful I didn't take the course. Had I, I would have never survived. The drama kills your mind, and without the mind, you've got nothing left. Strange, it is.

This semester, I'm taking Texas Government, a boring lecture class about the mundane nothings that have happened in Texas over the years, and the functions of the government. Obviously, it's a class designed for someone who wants to be a politician, or at very least a historian. Not me. But it's "required" - required that I waste my time and money, more like it - and I "have" to take it to continue on. Better now than never, eh? The class runs for two hours, from seven to nine in the ante meridian. Jean taught me two hours is nothing; I feel much tougher this semester, and this "long" class for me was incredibly short. I felt like I should've stayed longer, but you won't see me hanging around that wretched campus longer than I have to. But you should've thunk that by now, eh?

My professor's name is Freeman. She's a plump black woman with braided hair that was, at least today, very untidy. She loves her morning coffee. She's a terrible public speaker, and tends to ramble; she tends to say a sentence, say another sentence, and then tie it all together with the first sentence before moving on; that was her speech pattern the entire morning - it's incredibly frustrating, to be true. I thought teacher's had to be better at that sort of thing. Oh well.

She's also not terribly competent for her position, not to be as rude as I know I'm being. She's teaching a Texas Government course... and she's from Lousiana. She didn't even know the standing on gun control in the state; I had to tell her because nobody else in the class knew either... is that sad? I hate sounding like the smart ass... but... my God, the class is full of zombies. I don't think it's the earliness of the class either. They just... didn't learn... a lot of things that they certainly should have, especially since every single person in that classroom was born and raised in Texas. Neglecting Ms. Freeman of course.

I can tell I'm not going to enjoy this, at all, as usual. C'est typique, mais j'ai présumé cette. Espérons je simplement pourrai lire une livre en paix. Espérons. I need to work on my French. I'm getting rusty.

Reader, reader, reader, what will I do with you?
I have been writing more nerdy ol' fanfiction lately. I've also been playing WoW and The Sims much more often. Drowning myself in fake worlds so I don't really have to worry about the real one as much. I've been here before. Seems like only yesterday. But we all know that was five months ago. Or I do, anyway.

I have a lot of concerts to go to in the upcoming week(s): Kill Hannah this Friday with sis + April + Matt (maybe) + Maggie + Arthur (maybe). That'll certainly be an adventure. Then the Wednesday after that, Tilly and the Wall are playing at The Granada Theatre. I'll probably be going to see it with Ara, Christina, and apparently Nick Rutlidge and someone else. Nick is obnoxious, but I'll deal with him to be with two good friends and see a decent band. Then, the Saturday following Tilly and the Wall, Peachcake will be at The Ridglea Theatre. Ara is going to that as well, and knows the lead singer. I may be introduced to him. Exciting? A little.
(that wasn't sarcasm. That's my lackluster attitude talking, unfortunately).

Speaking of Sis, today was her birthday. Eighteen years old... hard to believe I met her when she was still sixteen. She's changed so much in two years, but so have I. She's had her runs of good and bad luck. Thankfully, she's grown from it. She's very high spiritted, and has a strong personality that will guide her through her life with ease. She's not the type to let rough spots get her down. She just puts them out of mind and smiles, no matter how hard it is to do. She's now taking online classes via TCC until she can transfer; she'll be doing something with enviromental science eventually. I love her decision in careers. But nowhere near as much as I love her. I hate to sound like a manically depressed fool, but most of my day to day life is drudgery and drear. Leslie is a light in a dark tunnel, and every time she shines her light toward me, I can't help but smile in awe and respect. That's true love, if you ask me.

I think I'll end on a happy note. People remember happy notes. Nobody takes family portraits of frowning faces. In family portraits, everyone smiles. It doesn't matter if they can't pay the mortgage, the son is cutting himself, the daughter has no self-confidence, the wife is cheating, but is unaware that the husband is cheating as well. You don't see that in the photos. You see everyone happy; everyone smiling. And the goal is to get to the next happy picture. If you can make it from one set of smiles to the next, you aren't doing half bad. Smiles are good. I'm smiling right now, in fact. I'm smiling for my best friend, who's birthday is in two weeks. I'm smiling for my sister, who's birthday was today. I'm smiling for my ex-lover and her recent successes. I'm smiling for those three people I truly love above the rest. And I'm wearing a fake smile for myself; hopefully I'll be able to make it to the next one alright. I'm smiling reader. And I'm certainly trying to be happy. Here's to hoping.

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