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duckie (profile) wrote,
on 7-8-2008 at 9:59am
So this weekend we went swimming, and I randomly busted out with how I was really excited for Christmas which shocked myself probably more than it shocked the boys. I figured it was just some float away thought bubble that prematurely popped, but here I am again, thinking about fucking Christmas.

Idk if it's because I'm spending it with my mom and pops orrr if it's because I get to be with Pj and Kelly for the holiday season. I REALLY want to get a tree, but we won't have any room for one which is incredibly sad. I'm already thinking about how we can rearrange things so we can fit a small one or where I can put stockings up.

Fucking pathetic? I think so, kids. I think so.

Yesterday sucked fucking dick. I was by myself at work for the majority of it which was kind of a disaster, and balancing my cashbox was even worse. The power went out the last time that I worked, so I had to balance manually, and I'm pretty sure that something got fucked up between then and now. I'm less than excited to go into work today, because I know that Becky is going to be all over me talking about it and trying to figure out what happened, and I just don't want to fucking deal with it right now. I came home, didn't say a word to anyone, and went right into the shower to cry. It was less than exciting. I finally fell asleep around 1030 [I was ready to fucking sleep once 8pm hit =\ ] once I stopped being ridiculous about things that REALLY didn't matter [yes, I realize I was upset which makes it matter in itself, but when I get like that, I overreact about EVERYTHING which is why it really wasn't important].


...

Okay it was important. And if I just would have fucking said it without worrying about sounding ridiculous then I probably would have had a good night to end my horrible day. When have you ever thought that I sounded ridiculous when I was upset? Oh yea, that's right. Never.

Alright, I need to get ready for what could potentially be another horrible day at work. I'm glad that I have tomorrow off. REALLY glad. I'm probably going to drown myself in the pool all day.





Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time
and hung me on a line
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

Maybe I'm a girl and maybe I'm a lonely girl
who's in the middle of something
that she doesn't really understand

Maybe I'm a girl and maybe you're the only man
who could ever help me
Baby, won't you help me understand

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I lead you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song
Right me when I'm wrong
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you
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