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faerin (profile) wrote,
on 7-21-2008 at 2:22pm
Current mood: energetic
Music: "No Fear" by The Rasmus
Subject: Everything is up, everything is down.
I'm so excited right now, and just in a good mood altogether. I feel much better now than I did the other day. I was reading that last entry of mine and I was like "Wow, talk about a change in mood."

Anyway, my college enrollment process is under way. Yes, I know I should have done this sooner, but I was planning on going to an entirely different school until just about the end of my senior year. I was going to be taking online classes for college, but then I realized that it wasn't really what I wanted. While it would have been more convenient, it would have been lacking that experience I want of actually going there and having hands on interaction with everything and meeting new people.

So yeah, I finished orientation today and now all I have to do is schedule an appointment with my counselor before I can register for classes. Woohoo! :D

I'm realizing lately that I'm sick of being held down. I have such an active mind and personality, and I'd be a total extrovert if I didn't let things hold me back. Sure, I can be totally shy and whatnot in front of people, but I have such a crazy side that people rarely see. I love going out and doing things with friends, I love singing loud and air guitaring / air drumming, get me in a mosh pit at a good concert and you'll see the real me. It's one place I can let loose and just be myself. It's the greatest feeling in the world.

Anyway, in the past few years, I've been turned into a total introvert. My boyfriend's very antisocial, so that usually screws me over if I ever want to party or something. That's not to say that I'm a party animal that wants to go out ALL the time, or that I drink or do drugs anything, because I don't. XD That's also not to say that I don't love my boyfriend, I'm crazy about him. I just always wish I had more me time and time to just go out with friends and have a good time. I also wish I had more good friends to go out with. I need to find a good club somewhere. I want to go dancing to good music. :P

This brings me to another point. I want to learn to play the drums. I don't know where this thought came from, I've just been wanting to for a while. You can never be too musically inclined. So if this little urge ever goes anywhere, I'll be able to sing, play guitar and play drums, which is good. :D

I'm also getting sick of wearing black all the time. Sure, I love my band t-shirts and I will never rid of them, but I'd love to add more color to my wardrobe again. I used to wear colors, believe it or not. XD I also want to dye my hair again. The brown with blonde highlights is nice and all, and I like the style it's in, but I miss my hair being red/auburn. I think that was the color that best reflected my personality.

God, I just want a mic in my hands! >_< You don't know how bad I just want to be on stage right now singing. I don't even care if it's just karaoke, I just want to do it. Lmao! I feel so optimistic today, it's ridiculous! I'd been so depressed the past few days, but today I just feel so great!

Who would think one phone call could totally change my outlook on things? I talked to a good friend of mine on the phone last night for a few hours, and holy crap, that is the most I've laughed in such a long time! It just felt nice to get to talk again. He reminded me of just who I really am and everything I still hope to become in my life, and how much I'm looking forward to the future. Too bad we don't live closer. It would be great if we did. He's one of those people I'd probably actually hang out with.

Man, I want to go out and do something, but Matt isn't home for another hour or so. x3 Oh well, I'll live until then. I don't really have much to say today, so I'm just going to go back to air guitaring/drumming and lip-synching to good music. Mwahahaha. One day I'll be jamming to my own music, I guaruntee it. ;)

- Fae
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