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butterfly (profile) wrote,
on 9-23-2008 at 11:04pm
I finally had the break down I knew was coming... at work. Not fun. My boss/friend, Ryan, pulled me into a room and let me cry my heart out, then I continued on throughout the day, feeling no better, but thinking it was done. Then I get in my car and get ready to go home, flip on the radio and "Chasing Cars" (our song) came on. Everything went all through me and I lost it again. I can't wait for this stage to just be over.
I love him. As horrible as it is, I don't want to love him anymore, because then everything won't hurt so bad. I know that'll never happen. Kelly was/is a HUGE factor in my life, and he'll always have my heart.

I don't know if I'll continue on with this thing... it was kind of a place for he and I. Plus all my friends were originally his friends and I don't quite know how the feelings are with them and I anymore. I still love them, but... I don't know.
Fuck. I wish this didn't hurt so much.
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