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caity_024 (profile) wrote,
on 1-20-2009 at 10:55pm
WOW. Today is me and Eric's two year anniversary. I couldn't be happier. Even though he's on the road somewhere between Oklahoma and Texas, driving to Arizona right now.....even though I won't see him for probably another 2 weeks....I just couldn't be happier. And then, just out of strange curiosity, I went back and read journal entries from when me and Ben hit our two year.....HOLY SHIT lol. Talk about difference....and first of all, i HATE that fucker for making me think i was fat and unattractive! GODDAMN! I LOVE my body and I weigh probably 5 or so pounds more than I did two years ago!!! FAT?!??!?!?! Is he fucking new? (quoting Bryan ever so eloquently there) hahahahahhaa......god.....i was kinda pathetic to stay with him when he treated me like SHIT.....but you live and learn I guess. I'm surprised I didn't try to off myself though, I was pretty deep into feeling the worst and most hideous woman on the planet. Eek...I'm glad I've grown out of that lol. I can't imagine how awful my life would have been if i'd MARRIED him.....jeez, if he made me feel that nasty when we were just dating??? Yikes.

Anyway, enough of the negativity! Eric broke his "i'm turning off my phone for this trip to just get back into ME mode and relax" to call me a BUNCH of times today :-) I can't wait to go see him!!! I hope Arizona is as good for him as I feel like it's going to be. He deserves it. He's workin his butt off to piece his life back together and make it a damn good one.

He's gotten very 'futurey' lately....really bringing up the next few years together and getting really into detail about US, and how he's really making a life that will be good for US. I like it, but due to past relationships....I think i'm hesitant to return that feeling....BUT I've been talking with Cathy (counselor at school I go chat with when I'm feelin really stressed or thinkin about my dad alot), and she said I may as well give it my all, because if it ever DOES go bad, I'm gonna be hurt just the same if I act aloof or give it my all. So I'm gonna take the give it my all route :-) I'd love to move to Arizona, finish grad school at ASU (EEK that's my dream even if Eric moves somewhere else though :-D) marry that man, have 2 beautiful baby boys who will be incredibly smart hellions, and own my little bookstore some day. See, I think some of this would just creep him out, though, lol. A girl can have her dreams :-)

I'm still swamped with the internship stuff, but Mark is helping me out (him and his wife Vicky co-chair IAMRA, the Illinois Alaskan Malamute Rescue Association). He's talking to all of his contacts at hte chem companies to see what he can do. It's a HUGE help to me! I need to get something good! I need all the help i can get getting into graduate school. ASU is kinda hard to get into, i think, so i'm trying to pump up my resume as MUCH as possible!

I lost my keys....and my drivers license last weekend.....EEEEK. That's kind of a nightmare right now, but I found a spare key and I'm having a temporary license issued, so i just have to worry about getting into the bars.....


MMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmk, I know i haven't updated on everything (I PASSED PHYSICS!), but I'm sleepy and part of my semester goals is to be more RELAXED, which means more sleep! SWEETEST DREAMS! <3
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