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waiting4rain (profile) wrote,
on 1-25-2009 at 7:14pm
Current mood: hopeful
Music: Coffee maker
Subject: My hope to live out my hopes
For the past few days, I have been lounging on my couch watching TV episodes one after another. In the back of my mind has been this nagging thought to get to work on my hopes and dreams. But doubts that I will ever be a success keep my mind stuck to the screen, and words that are supposed to flow from a writer's brain stay drudged in the mud that's inside of my head. Call it sickness, call it lack of opportunity, whatever.

The truth is that I've been making the same lame excuse to keep my thoughts frozen, rather than melting them down to let them flow out through my fingers onto the page through the hard process of critical thinking, analysis, and decision making.

The truth is that my pastor was right when he said: "The biggest cause of failure is the fear of failure." I know I can succeed. But I've been stubborn in my doubts of success.
Perhaps its because I cannot yet see how my success will take its shape. Will I be a traveling journalist, a freelancer, work for a magazine, my own magazine. Has what I've thought of already been done, and if so why should I step into the game?

But the truth I need to cling to is this. Like a woman collecting pennies in a jar to fund her church's Sunday school, small beginnings lead to great ends if you're willing to let them grow. If she hadn't started to place pennies in that jar, her coworkers never would have asked her if they could also donate; the kids at Sunday school would not have been bonded to the older generation when they proposed to sing a song in grateful thanks; the joy of knowing that we can improve lives and build relationships would not have been found.

But that woman collected pennies. What are my pennies?

Snippets of knowledge
A large space for compassion and understanding
The ability to analyze
The ability to write
Stories of people who inspire
A vision to mobilize people to action through stories of hope.

I have the tools necessary. It can be done. Will I start to collect the pennies?
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