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|butterfly (profile) wrote, |
on 3-25-2009 at 9:27pm
|I seem to like... always fuck shit up. I don't mean too, but I guess I'm just too good at it to quit??
I thought I was ready... I thought I wanted this. It felt so right... but then that feeling faded and my stomach was churning and my heart ached. It was as if it was saying, "seriously? you're putting me through this pain and struggle yet again?"
So I listened to it and backed out.
I didn't want to hurt him if I did... I just need to get my shit straight.
And I'm hesitant to start something again with me here and him there. But moving would be ridiculous. And I'm not going to move. For the first time in a really long time I'm happy with my friends and my family... I couldn't make myself move, ever.
That's just the way it is.
And I'm sorry for that.