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|aaron (profile) wrote, |
on 4-1-2009 at 10:18pm
|I remember that beach. Dinner on the porch, everyone dressed well. The heat lamps and laughter and the unity of awe over the sunset on the water. The feel, the vibrancy, the laughter, and closeness in the air.
Like the square, with the fountains and all the prayer.
It's everything this cold, empty, loneliness isn't.
I guess I know how much it meant to me. Such a small thing, but now that it's gone, I feel like I've lost the whole world.
I love you, man. Never doubt that. And I'm on your side, when it does come to sides. And really, so is he, even if that doesn't mean a thing to you.
Still my friend...but not the same. It changes nothing, but everything's different.
I don't get it either, I just wish things were the way they were. I wish we were eating dinner on that beach. I wish we were in that square, arms locked. I pray that tonight, as I sleep, those memories will pass through my mind a hundred times. I love those memories.
I have regrets. I can't deny that. I've treated you like shit, and I turned a shoulder when you needed me the most. I see that now. But I never turned my back, and it couldn't have been that way forever. Things move on, people grow up, and maybe that's what this is all about. Or maybe it's about being young.
I know how this will end, I guess. One of two ways, and either is fine because it's your choice. But I'm a liar and a false friend if I tell you I'm not scared.
You know it's true; I am so scared.