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mystery (profile) wrote,
on 3-2-2003 at 1:13am
Current mood: other
Music: silence and the echo of "sky blue and black"
Subject: i am a liar.
there's so much i haven't told. some i haven't told anybody, some i've told to only the wrong people, some shit i haven't even told myself, and everything i have told myself i'm doubtful of. what is truth?

fuck, i think march is going to turn out to be a second january.

no. really? (it ain't murder, it's a metaphore)

earlier today i was listening to music, my "absobloominlutely fabuloso" cd, "sing rain water, sea water, river water, holy water, wrap this child in mercy, heal her, heaven's only daughter." I need that kind of healing, I need water to sweep through me and tell all my tales for me, I need someone to ask all the right questions and keep me talking till i've told it all and don't want to bite my hands and bang my head against walls anymore.

what is truth?

"sky blue and black" has always been one of my favorite songs. it's one of those beautiful pure sorrow-that-rejoices ones, that makes me feel clean. i wish i could cry. tears would do it.
"and i'd have fought the world for you
(i'd have fought the world for you)
if i'd thought that you
(thought that you wanted me to)
or put aside what was true or un
(true or untrue)
if i'd known that you needed
(that you needed me to)
but the moment has passed by me now
to have put away my pride and just come through for you somehow
if you ever need holding
call my name and i'll be there
if you ever need holding, and no holding back, i'll see you through
sky... blue and black"

there's more to it, there's always more, but i can't type the whole song and anyway that covers the important part. "true or untrue". i wish i knew what truth was. somebody make me tell.

i should have known if i got through january safe there would be something waiting later on.

"sing rain water, sea water, river water, holy water, wrap this child in mercy, heal her, heaven's only daughter."
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