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|kurzhaar (profile) wrote, |
on 7-28-2009 at 8:26pm
|I know I said I'd never update here again. Yeah. Well, I wanted to write up a Q&A to perhaps explain some of my choices last year.
Q: Why did you not tell anyone you were coming to the States for a visit in October 2007, only letting us know after you came back?
A: I admit I was selfish. I was in a new relationship. Don't go "omg, you are only dating him for like 6 months, who the fsck cares" on me. I knew a month into our relationship that he was the one. Y'know, the one. The kid I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. After not seeing him for many months and being extremely miserable in Germany, I decided to go home to Kalamazoo for 10 days to see him and my family.
I didn't tell anyone I was going because I was afraid my parents would be mad at me. And I wanted to fly into Kalamazoo to see not only Troy, but also my relatives who live in the area and my Uni friends. I don't know about the rest of you, but I had a pretty tight group of friends at Western who were pretty close. I'm not trying to diss you, but we all move on at some point in our lives. I had Kzoo friends who I knew better than people in Rockford. I didn't tell anyone because I was afraid to see you. I was still hurt by Rachel not wanting to meet Troy. I was afraid she wouldn't want to meet him again.
If you didn't want to read that whole bunch, the simple answer is: KT was selfish and stupid and a bitch and you don't want to play with her anymore because she wanted to see her new friends and boytoy.
Q: Why did you whine all the time last year about not hearing from anyone? You totally got more letters in the mail than Elvis Presley did in a single year.
A: Other than my family, Troy, and Darcy (my friend who had just started working with the JET program and was in Japan), I didn't have any regular communication with anyone else back in the States.
I whined because I cared. I wanted to know about everybody's lives. I wanted to know about school, home, friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, engagements, whatever. Nobody was really updating woohu that much anymore except for Rachel, and I was still feeling sour about her moving in with Nick and not wanting to meet Troy. I didn't call or write because I'm lazy. And selfish. And a bitch who wanted to be with her boytoy of less than a year omg she's so horrible.
Yes, I got letters. One from Kelly, lots from Darcy, a couple from my parents. Nothing from Troy (believe me, I hold this over his head at times).
The short answer: KT was nosy and selfish and stupid and a bitch.
Q: Why didn't you tell anyone when you were coming back to the States for good?
A: If you have known me for a while, you should know I don't like being the center of attention. When I left for home I wanted to just go and not have any celebration. I was torn about leaving. Germany was finally looking good. I had so much independence and freedom there it was ridiculous. I wanted to go home and see my family and Troy. Look, try going 13 months without seeing your parents, sibling(s), grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc on a month to month basis. Imagine not seeing the love of your life for longer than you had been dating. "It's not like you're going to marry him." Uhhh, yeah, sure. By the way, we're getting married next year. Troy proposed in April.
I didn't want people to meet me at the airport. I mean, it would have been nice if my brother met us (my dad was on a business trip), but he didn't. We went home. I saw Andy. And was exhausted. I get bad jet lag coming back to the States. Every time. The day after I came back, Troy came to visit on his days off. Of course I wanted to spend time with him. Of course I wanted to see my family.
I'm sorry I didn't call. I just wanted to be home with my family.
Short answer: KT was selfish and stupid and bitch who only cared about seeing her family and boytoy.
I don't know if this'll answer all the questions anyone might have. I don't care if you think these answers are lame. They're mine and they're legit, albeit a year late. I'm sorry if I left anyone in the dust. If anyone cares about this pathetic life of mine still: I'm engaged to Troy (yes, that horrid person) and we're planning on getting married next year.
I love and miss you all.