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|cleverlinesunread (profile) wrote, |
on 9-18-2009 at 6:38am
|I wanted to say I'm sorry, though the words I said don't lack truth. But truth isn't always permission to say whatever you feel. We all need a censor and for some reason mine wasn't sensing a damn thing. I like to think I'm in control and I keep myself in check. I didn't. I failed. I spoke when it wasn't my job to speak. I judged when it wasn't my place to judge. I became engrossed when there were no reasons (other than shallow ones) to do so. And, for that, I am sorry.
I don't expect any sort of forgiveness, acceptance, or even acknowledgment nor do I want that. I just feel at this point in my life there are things I have to let go of and anger that has to shed and if I'm going to do that it's time to move on entirely and get my thoughts somewhere other than just my mind. Even if every one else feels the same before or after my words, it may be selfish, but it helps me.
I don't hate you. I never could. Whether we're ever friends or even like each other, or have to simply tolerate each other, I won't do any of that with spite.
We just exist together and sometimes our existence will collide and all I'd really want is some sort of comfort when that happens rather arrogance or hate.
I'm rambling. Basically, a lot of what I did was out of line and though there's still anger inside of me it's time to let go so I am.
I hope you can too. If not, that's also ok. I'm not asking for anything.
Also, congratulations. I'm truly happy for you. I knew you wanted this really bad and ask anyone; throughout this entire 'ending our friendship' thing I always said I really wished you'd get in, because you really wanted to.
|Anonymous:||(this user logs IP addresses)|