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squallet (profile) wrote,
on 3-7-2010 at 7:23pm
Current mood: pissed off
Music: "Justify" by The Rasmus
Subject: Meh.
I wish I knew how to be just as fake as some of these people out there.
It must be easy to lie just to fit in with others.
How well do you think they study their roles?

I have such bad freakin' social anxiety.
Anytime I have to be around people I don't know, I just get extremely uncomfortable.
It's not so bad just going somewhere public because then I don't have to talk to people.
But if I have to be around my boyfriend's family, I get SO anxious. It's horrible.
I hate being the center of attention.
I just wish more people were understanding of my issues.
They act like I don't want to be a part of their life or something.
I'm just not comfortable with those kinds of situations.
My stomach turns into knots, I fumble around with things, I shake a little.
It's just not a good place for me to be.
It's so depressing.

And yet, all I want is to have people to hang out and have a good time with.
Just a few more close friends would be nice.
People I was comfortable with, so there wouldn't be any nervous tension.

I'm never good enough for anybody...
Do they just want me to be a doll? A puppet?
Something that can be everything they want me to be?
I'll never be one of those fake people.
So get over it. >.>

~Squallet
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