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taoman1121 (profile) wrote,
on 6-3-2010 at 12:05am
Music: Gorillaz - Stylo
Subject: Dear Jim
Dear Jim [Gaffigan]:
I had a weird dream last night where I went on a killing spree, murdering all of my ex-college roommates (I had a lot of them apparently), and for some reason Elvis Costello was fingered for the crime. I sat in the courtroom and watched him get a life sentence, and then he turned to me and smiled and starting singing, "Alison, I know this world is killing you." And the really bizarre part is, my name isn't Alison. What could this dream mean?
- Norah, Lancaster PA

Dear Norah:
Wait--the "bizarre part" was that your name isn't Alison? Really, THAT was the bizarre part? Not the murder spree or your letting a great musician take the heat? Just your name? Lady, you're a nut bag. Stop watching Law & Order before bed.
- Jim

Excerpt from "You're a Horrible Person, But I Like You: The Believer Book of Advice":
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