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rissa (profile) wrote,
on 9-5-2010 at 5:36pm
Current mood: contemplative
It's kind of ironic how after I posted that entry earlier today, I started talking to Sarah and she kind of feels the same as me right now. Sam and Ariana went on a ~spontaneous~ trip to go see Stone Temple Pilots earlier today and apparently Sarah's pissed because they excluded her from it. If there's anything I've learned in the past 3 years of being in a group of four teenage girls who are best friends.. is that you can't rely on any single one of them. One of them will always be closer with the other, and that will change continuously. You will hate every single one of them at some point in your friendship. But for some reason, you can't just cut them out of your life. Because they've been your best and your only friends ever since your old ones disappeared.

I think all of this is only true for the very unique group of friends I have. They all have their own problems, and I could go into that with much more detail but I won't, because this is public and some part of me will feel bad if they ever saw this. I just know that I can't truly rely or trust any single one of them. I don't know about you, but I think that going through a good period of time where you're growing up with people that you can't trust.. I think that'll do something to you. Like I just said to Sarah, I've taught myself to never expect less than a raging dickhead, as she says. I won't give you the chance to fuck me over because I already expect it to happen. I also won't give any genuine person a chance because I can't tell the difference anymore.

All I know is that I trust, depend, and completely rely on only myself and my boyfriend that has been with me since I was 13 years old. And like I said earlier, I'm okay with that. But Sarah, Sam, and Ariana will still be around, because I'm always gonna hang out with them when there's nothing else to do and they're willing. They're fun and all, but I've learned exactly what role every single person in my life plays.
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