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squallet (profile) wrote,
on 11-9-2010 at 1:19am
Current mood: depressed
Music: "Never Too Late" by Three Days Grace
Subject: Don't leave me here alone...
Even though I know he'll probably never read this, this is a cry out to the man I love with all my heart...

I'm alone at home... I've barely eaten in days... I'm missing a week of school...
All because I can't manage to pull myself together...

I look at pictures of us happy together and break down in tears...
I reread old texts and poems from you over and over...
I even fell asleep hugging your framed picture the other night...

Some may just see me as a pathetic weeping child, but I'm lost without you...

How can you be so cold and push me away without even a word as to why?
How can you leave me on the edge, not even knowing where we stand?
Are we together? Are we apart?
Do you just need time alone to clear your head?
Do you need help because you're having an extreme bipolar/depression episode?
Do you really just not love me anymore?
Was it something I said? Something I did?
Have we really changed that much from the two happy kids who were so head over heels in love?

I look at those pictures and weep.
I wish I could caress your face.
Touch your rosy cheeks.
Brush your hair back.
Look into your warm, loving eyes.
Wrap my arms around you tightly and secure.
Press my lips against yours.
Lose myself in you.
The way we used to.
Nothing else matters to me right now but the thought of you.

Did you think that I replaced you? That I didn't care anymore?
I know we've both been so busy that there's no time for each other it seems.
But darling if only you'd come home to me, we could fix all those things.
I would make you the happiest man on earth, no matter what it takes.
I don't care about the stupid fights and disagreements.
I don't care if you're friends or your video games are more important some days.
I don't care what anyone else says about us.

I care about YOU. I care about US.
I can't think back on all those happy times and just let them fade away.
You mean far too much to me to just let this love die.
I'll fight 'til my last breath to show you just what you mean to me...

No matter what happens, I just want you to know...
I've put my heart in a silver box, and locked it far away...
Only you have the key, my love...
Nobody can ever replace you in my life...

I keep dreaming every night that you'll come back...
You'll tell me how it was all a mistake and that you're sorry...
I've already forgiven you, darling.
Just take my hand and with it, you take my heart.
Take me in your arms and show me just what I mean to you.
Lose yourself with me under the covers.
Breathe into my ear how I'm your everything, the air you breathe.
Just like you did only weeks ago...

Love is forgiveness, and I forgive all you've done.
Could you forgive me this time?
Though I don't know what I've done to push you away...
I'm sorry that somewhere along the line, I failed you...
How could I be so ignorant not to see...
I should have given you more attention, more time, more love...

I miss waking up to your beautiful face...
Your arms around me tight every morning...
I wish you were here tonight...
I would show you just what we've been missing...

It's never too late to turn things around...
If things aren't right, let's make them right...
We can fix all the problems, the mistakes, the past.
We can make a future...

I still only dream of you as my husband.
I dream of you holding our child in your arms with that gorgeous smile on your face.
I dream of walks in the park with you as we grow older.
I don't want to face this world without you.

My partner.
My savior.
My protector.
My angel.
My lover.
My best friend.
My world.
My everything.

Don't let me face the world alone...
I always turned to you first, and I want to again.
You were always there to protect and save me.
You wiped my tears, hugged me tight, and made me feel alive.
I don't want to feel cold and dead inside anymore...

Do you love me still...?
Just those 3 words still give me butterflies...
Those 3 words can make everything in the world beautiful again...
Please don't give up on us...
Just say you love me still...
And I swear you'll never be alone...

Please darling...
April is nothing without October...
Please come home Michael...
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