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|arrivistemerkaba (profile) wrote, |
on 5-18-2011 at 3:14pm
|Current mood: exanimate
Subject: Easily the clearest options.
|What a nice rainy day, can't wait to walk home.
I woke up to a very serious realization, as I revisited for the millionth time Joe and my relationship in my dreams. My Subconscious is trying to demonize Joe so that I can get over him. In the past I dated cheating, lying, dickbags who were easy to get over because they were worth all the anger I felt towards them.
Joe is a loving, kind, hillarious amazing man who is worth every ounce of my love, and that makes him hell to get over. My heart and my soul want to love him until the day I die, but my mind is trying to save me from the pain of this recovery from him. It's an internal battle going on at all times inside me.
No matter what happens, no matter if we never get back together... I will never stop fighting to keep my heart and soul true! I love Joseph P. Sweet!
I always will. :)
My nails are pretty rockin today, I'm really proud of myself. I did my makeup again today~ (-3 points because I didn't change outfits... Gotta start somewhere...) I may want to fall apart emotionally and physically (when I don't have my lovely pile of meds handy) but I'm slowly getting some of my pride back.
Today might end up being a good day. Still too early to tell though.