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xjayk (profile) wrote,
on 9-10-2011 at 11:21pm
itīs getting dark... too soon... a threatening silence...
surrounding me... a wind... comes up from the islands...
when distance fades to stormy grey
washed out from the deep of the ocean
here i will stand to face your wrath...
while all the others are praying


*****


Another year of trials and tribulation; hasn't it been darling?
I've stretched myself to my limits and although I'm pretty sure you can see my mangled body you watch as I dig deep and grunt into one last stretch.
The pain resides so deep now that its made an imprint of itself that spells out your name.

Please tell me; is this fun
Please tell me; is this amusing
Please tell me; is this love

I waited for you love, why didn't you come?
Has it ever mattered less?
In your loving way tell me you'll replace what you stole from me
... then turn from me again
Remember the sick way you loved me
Now love me again
Draine me baby;
Take your leftovers

******

calm down my heart... donīt beat so fast...
donīt be afraid just once in a lifetime
calm down my heart... donīt beat so fast...
donīt be afraid just once in a lifetime
no rain can wash away my tears
no wind can soothe my pain
you made me doubt, you made me fear
but now iīm not the same
you took my wife, my unborn son...
torn into the deep of the ocean
i donīt pretend that i love you
īcause there is nothing left to lose

*******


I thought...
It doesn't matter what I thought
It matters what I think now
And if I could write a book
My Gospel of our relationship
How would you respond
and in my scripture I would have written
"alike Judas; she betray me with an embrace and a kiss"
Time can change so much cant it

**********


and when silence comes back to me
i find myself feeling lonely
standing here on the shores of destiny
i find myself feeling lonely
i had a life to give... many dreams to live...
donīt you know that youīre losing so much this time
beyond the waves... i will be free
while all the others are praying


****

For the longest time I felt alone
Torn down so far
And held there by your lies and contradictions
You watched me as I sank
I reached out to you
The sting I felt
The sting I felt when you turned away
But no more love
I cant feel that anymore
You made sure of that


*********


calm down my heart... donīt beat so fast...
donīt be afraid just once in a lifetime
calm down my heart... donīt beat so fast...
donīt be afraid just once in a lifetime
no rain can wash away my tears
no wind can soothe my pain
you made me doubt, you made me fear
but now iīm not the same
you took my wife, my unborn son...
torn into the deep of the ocean
i donīt pretend that i love you
īcause there is nothing left to lose


*******


There is no eligant way of expressing what you've done to me
There is no argument you can possibly have for yourself
How is it that the people closest to me over the past years are the ones that have turned so far from me now I need them?
I'm not going to pretend like I haven't changed
I'm a mother now
I live for my baby
And I Will protect her from liars
...like you
I cant hardly say that I wish we could sweep this under the rug
Because God knows that I've done it for years
But that was just me
Now its my husband and daughter your messing with as well
It wont happen
I wont let it
You've done so much wrong to us already
When will you just stop?


*****

the love in you, it does not burn,
there is no lesson you can learn
and there are sounds you cannot hear,
and there are feelings you canīt feel

calm down my heart... donīt beat so fast...
donīt be afraid just once in a lifetime


*******


Tell me again your sorry
That you would give the world to make things right


Let's watch as you screw me all over again
Then its not a big deal anymore....right?
Then your sorry and we'll play this game over and over AND OVER AGAIN!
I'm so drained of you, love. I really am.


If you haven't realized this is for you
How far can you push 'til their slipping off the edge
How much love can you give
How much poison can you inject
Tell me

Your the snake in my Eden

Its sad my baby girl wont see you for what you once were
This beautiful amazing person who loved life
But when she starts to form her own opinions...
she'll see the liar Thad and I see now
That everyone else refuses to acknowledge

I'm more so angry because it feels so much better than being hurt
I honestly think I'm out of tears when it comes to you
Sorry
Life I guess

*************

i donīt pretend that i love you
and this time iīm not scared of you
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