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|valoth (profile) wrote, |
on 10-5-2011 at 12:54am
|Beans were spilled last night, albeit abruptly[read: poorly].
I probably left her in a mess around her friends. If I did I bet theyd say "dont go" "hes an asshole" or something of that nature.
Those sentiments really help right now...NOT.
I didnt mean for this to happen but it happened. I cant help that I feel this way about her. What I can help is whether or not I should bother trying to feel this way about her. If she cant tell me that, then I can try to decide.
Shes mad/sad about not having answers for me. Im mad because I need answers. I told her I would make them for her if she cant. I really dont like the answer Ill end up using but I know that its probably the best I can offer since shes "a free spirit" and she might "wake up one day and not like you[me]."
Isnt this what a relationship revolves around? Liking someone, then being with or without them over time. Changing with or without them. Then deciding if you dont want to be with them one day or staying with them for more days?
I really hate this.
This whole thing makes me think about Rachel and how I had that issue come up again and again. Makes me hate myself when my self esteem is already basically at rock bottom.
If bad things happen to good people, then do good things happen to bad people?