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mintbones (profile) wrote,
on 10-6-2011 at 7:11pm
Subject: urvogel[aka]thefinger
to my father, who treated me like the scum of the earth for so long that i took it to heart and believed it to be true;

to my mother, who abandoned me in my time of greatest need, then said i was the one doing the walking away;

to my grandmother, who tried very hard to teach a small child sexual shame via humiliation;

to the eighth grade pre-algebra teacher who amused the class by loudly showcasing my learning disability to everyone who habitually picked on me;

to the eleventh grade algebra 2 teacher who told me good luck passing the class because she was giving up on me;

to the horrible boss of my first job who treated me like trash daily for shits and giggles and got away with it;

to everyone who told me that the way people treated me at my first job was normal and to never expect or hope for anything better in future jobs, or never even bother talking to HR about the constant abuse i endured under them because nothing but trouble would come of it;

to anyone in my life i wasted time upon beating myself against the brick wall of their eternal disapproval, for whom i tried so hard but could never be good enough, no matter what i did;

to every single one of the people throughout my young life who've
used me,
abused me,
taunted, belittled and invalidated me,
made me feel like shit for their own childish amusement,
taught me that i was a bad person and other "lessons" that will take years to un-learn,
controlled and manipulated me,
purposely fed me lies to make me fear, "respect" and obey,
told me i could never be successful on my own,
forced me into a corner,
put me down,
threatened and blackmailed me,
told me i couldn't do it and to not even waste time trying,
abandoned me to fend for myself...

this is my personal "fuck you" to every one of you.
this is me kicking you in a hole and forgetting all about you. just like you all forgot about me.

watch me rise, and realize that you will never even know how wrong you all were about me.

because i'm gone.
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