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|lugosi (profile) wrote, |
on 12-27-2011 at 8:46pm
|Current mood: stressed
|I have started writing a novel. It is not something I intend to publish or to show to anyone, I am just writing it for a means of passing the time and as a means of escaping the drudgery of reality.
This is also why I have been neglecting here, I feel kind of bad about that actually, I should be more active after all the hassle I went through to get here in the first place.
I do not know if anyone else is like this but I am a stickler for picking up on patterns and "coincidences" (although some say 'there is no such thing as a coincidence') but then sometimes things are a little bit "too" peculiar to think they mean absolutely nothing, correct? But there are patterns in "Quantum Theory" are there not (such as fractal geometry, patterning that naturally occur in the world around us)? So surely that means that there is a meaning to these patterns as opposed to it being a cheerful happenstance.
I sometimes notice patterns where a normal person would not, usually it is just silly things like I notice that items on a shelf happen to follow a pattern that was unknown to the person who put the items on the shelf randomly. It makes me wonder if people all do things in a pattern subconsciously, if so why do we do it?
There are also little things that make me wonder if the universe is a grand trickster playing a joke on us or if there is a deliberate pattern telling us something important and personal to each individual.
You might be thinking I am mad but here is a pattern I noticed randomly today...
You might recall a few entries ago I was discussing the possibility of being in love with someone whom we have never met and who has died before we were born. Now, one such person is someone (that is a dead person; who died long before I existed) I value and respect on a very deep and spiritual level I noticed today that their surname is the same length as my first name and my surname is the same length as their first name. This could be viewed as an infantile coincidence but what if that is how the universe matches people up? Our ideal person matches us in some patterned way... be it a numerical way, a height, a number of scars, a deformity, a trauma... Something that isolates us and makes us different to everyone else makes us even closer to someone who is equal to us in every way.
This depressed me to think that my ideal person is not here any more, unless they have been living out many lives one after the other in search of me. I wonder if that is the case, shall this be the life I meet my ideal person? If not I wonder if in many years to come I will return to earth in another life, read this very journal, scoff at its notions and then go ahead seeking my ideal partner...
Ah but of course everything is very stressful and perplexing when you think of it like that is it not? I would love nothing more than for science to suddenly yell 'Eureka!' and have answers to many of life's questions and of course if human cloning would ever be possible, do you think the clone of the person would have the memories too? Can one clone memories or would they merely be a blank slate to be impressed upon?
Goodness I am thinking too hard, I must go read a book to distract myself, I think.