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xjayk (profile) wrote,
on 6-8-2012 at 6:17pm
After going through postpartum on my own I finally believed it was over, but the whole getting pregnant again I think just thrust me back into it. The feeling isn't as bad as it once was but I have my days. Today is one of those days. I had a wonderful morning and afternoon but as soon as 3:00 hit I just was stressed and overwhelmed and couldn't control my feelings anymore. I ended up going into my room and shutting myself off until Thaddeus had to go to work, and of course he left thinking that I was upset that I couldn't find the sundress at the store that I saw online that I fell in love with. Please. I just feel so.... unhappy right now. I want someone around but alas all my friends are gone. Gone with the coming of a baby. Its funny to think everyone would still be there after having a baby, like you were there for them and then they just don't have the time for you or care for you anymore. Sad to think about. Especially how many of my friends left after having her. Oh well. I have Hillary and our Wednesdays that I live for lately. That and Sunday night so I can watch the new episode of American Gypsy. I love that show.
So I just ordered pizza because no car means no going out and getting groceries, which really sucks because I would love to cook right now but I'll have to settle for breadsticks and a personal pan.
I neeeed a change. In something. I've been changing myself and I'm happy for the most part its just not enough. I think the best change would be another car but we can't afford another payment and insurance note. Blah. The joys of a stay at home mom.
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