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srsbsnsrunner (profile) wrote,
on 3-24-2014 at 8:34pm
Subject: critisms.
There is something about myself that I will never understand. I can criticize myself and it's okay but the second someone else does it all hell breaks loose.
Will someone please explain that?

Why is it okay for me to criticize myself for stupid stuff day in and day out but when someone else points it out, it's not okay?
Riddle me that.

I actually took the criticism pretty well. There were tears for about a minute before I told myself to tough it up, it's not the end of the world. It's just something that you need to work on.

"Progress is more important than perfection."
"Progress is more important than perfection."

In my head that sounds all nice and awesome but try and put it into practice my inner ego says "NO! We like perfection, we like striving to be something that we can never be. We like making you miserable."

Reality sucks. You say you can take it like a man but then it actually gets dished out and all you want to do is run into corner with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and just furiously stuff your face with it.
Oh you don't want to do that? It's just me?
Okay then.

I think the hardest part is taking the criticism for what it is, no more, no less. It doesn't make me less of a person, it doesn't make me any worse at my job, it just is something I need to be aware of and work on. That's what us humans like to do right? Grow? I like to grow at least. Or try to. Staying stagnate is boring.

Finding the balance is key here. I'm young in my career and this isn't even my true career. When it comes time for me to go to school, I have to get used to failing and just accepting it because I'm not going to have all the answers, nor will I have it all together all the time. I won't always know what to do and I just have to be okay with that. Professors and clinical instructors are going to let me know about things they don't like. And it's not my personality, it's not me per say.

Well, technically it is me but it isn't. There are behaviors and characteristics. Criticizing a behavior is different than a characteristic.
Behaviors ebb and flow with where you are in life, what you're doing, who you're with. Characteristics are those core parts of your personality that shouldn't change. They make up who you are. Behaviors are learned and unlearned. Characteristics are not.

My core is still the same, how I express it needs work.

And with that said, I feel more accepting of the criticism I took today.

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