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srsbsnsrunner (profile) wrote,
on 4-1-2014 at 4:18pm
Subject: when people ask.
Whenever people ask me what I'm good at, I always want to answer "self-sabotage." Because it's true, I'm not just good at it, I'm great at it, maybe even pro!

I'm not sure why I stand in my own way half the time, it's like inner me wants me to fail. Which makes no sense because failure sucks and you'd think inner me would want to avoid that uncomfortable feeling. I'm honestly squirming in my chair thinking about it.
So then I get in my own way which makes me feel even more uncomfortable.
I have no idea what inner self is achieving here because to me it looks like a lose lose.

Inner me, you're losing! GET OUT OF MY WAY!

Sitting like a lump on the couch is a lose for you because it just stresses me out later cause I didn't get anything done. Which in turn stresses you out because I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
So you wanted to avoid stress in that moment? Well, good job inner me, you did but you made yourself more stressed two days later.
That's really planning ahead isn't it?

Yeah. That's what I thought.

Oh inner me you want me to eat all the food because you think I'll starve? Alright.
Oh we're going for a run? And probably throwing up all said food, therefore making it all pointless.

See, inner me, you're fighting a ridiculous battle because you obviously have no idea what you're doing!
Now I will give you credit where credit is due. But we have to work together as a team and you have to trust me when I do scary things.
Like clean my house on the weekends, instead of sitting there like a lump. Because I am using my foresight and saving us stress later.
If it's any consolation, I want to stay here just as long as you. So teamwork. We need to work on that. And trust. You have to trust me!

So got that inner me?
Trust and teamwork.

That's on our agenda for the month.
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