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|2ofus (profile) wrote, |
on 7-28-2014 at 2:24am
|I sat in the grass and stared at the stars for while tonight. Thinking about life and what have you. It made me really sad and lonely. I don't have anyone to share my life with. I think its something wrong with me. I've had plenty of women who are great and would be a good companion. But after some time my brain has to find something wrong with them and I start to distance myself from them. I try to say I'm just picky and haven't met the right one yet. But everyone else sides maybe one or two have found someone they can spend more than a couple weeks with. Am I broken? I think I am. My body, my heart and my mind all want different things and I hate it. I just don't want to be in this self manufactured loneliness. Other people say its normal etc to act and my wants, but I can't help but feel that's not what my heart wants. I don't know what it wants yet. It keeps sending mixed signals. That or my brain is making them occluded.
Maybe I should just run away from everything familiar, to a new place. Away from things that remind me, things that tempt me, things that make sad. Awhile ago my dad offered to have me live with him. I might do that. This city isn't conducive to me. And I think the farther away from.... It'll help me with... I need to think more.
I miss my friend. I understand why stuff and junk but my friend was an awesome friend. Oh well. Bed now