Add Memory | Add To Friends
kinkyrose1212 (profile) wrote,
on 6-13-2016 at 6:25am
Current mood: melancholy
Music: Techno stuffs
Subject: The End of an Era
I've finally given my final decision in this mess of my love life to all parties involved. I chart my course for North Carolina this evening. I will wait out these last several weeks of my husband's deployment and pick up with him again when he returns. He's a great man to put up with my crap and never lose faith or respect in me, even when I've lost it in myself. I have broken Joe's heart, unfortunately, was talking stupidly of future plans I shouldn't have been making with him. He knew I was married, should have known this wasn't going to go smoothly or end pretty, but I was very convincing because I do love him and if Wolfe wasn't in the picture I truly would want those things with Joe. Joe has never been left like this, never really been burned. I'm only his second girlfriend and the first one he just broke up with about a month ago when I got involved. She and I are on speaking terms again, which both of us are happy about. These poor boys. I'm easy to fall in love with and I absolutely love falling in love, it's the sticking with it once the initial quick burn is over with that's the problem. It isn't really a problem with Wolfe, but he hasn't been here in a while and I just blew up when left to my own devices. Not that it's an excuse. I'm an adult, almost thirty, I should have my shit together by now. ~sigh~ What we're seeing now isn't pretty, but at least our eyes are open. To Wolfe, to Joe, to Lasha: I hurt you all and I love you all and will always devote a piece of my heart to the grievances I've caused here. If I could take all that pain into myself, heal it and give you back something beautiful I would do it in a heartbeat. And I try, but it's hard to figure out how and what to channel.
Read Comments

Reload Image | Listen to it
Enter what you see (only needed for anonymous comments!)
Security Code: