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|koalalady (profile) wrote, |
on 4-11-2017 at 10:13am
|Current mood: relieved
Music: general funk
|Another door shut. Another tangent I don't have to explore. The older I get, the less pressure I feel to twist myself into all these unnatural pretzel shapes. The less I feel the need to change to fit the image I see in my head, or to meet the expectations of others. Overall it's a good thing, but at the same time I'm left with more questions: If my path isn't being defined by the authorities in my life, by the institutions that I once looked up to, then it's all up to me. And what do I want it to look like?
Do I want to get married? To be somebody's wife? Is that something I ever really wanted?
I wish now more than ever that I hadn't shut you out. You believed in me, never mocked me for what I liked. What would you have said to me when I was ten years old?
What am I doing here?