|Add Memory | Add To Friends|
|robbingnovember (profile) wrote, |
on 5-22-2017 at 10:11pm
|I feel locked in my own thoughts. I'm writing because I don't know how to describe what is going on or how I feel and feel truly understood. Every time I try to move on... I can't do it. I don't know how. I keep making these feeble attempts and feel worse than if I hadn't tried at all.
When I think about leaving him.. I don't think I can. I can't leave because I need him and I think he needs me. He is closer to me than my family and I am the only one he can open up to and be vulnerable with. I am truly and utterly ambivalent. I love him so much. I don't know how to love him and not sacrifice.
I honestly think the only thing I can do is to start to create art and maybe I can figure this out. Maybe that is what I should pursue fervently and it will come to me.