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|steppingstones (profile) wrote, |
on 6-29-2018 at 1:33pm
|Current mood: blah
Subject: Daily Reflections
|The Language of Letting Go - Melody Beattie
"If it is a quiet day, trust the stillness. If it is a day of action, trust the activity. If it is a time to wait, trust the pause. If it is time to receive that which we have been waiting for, trust that it will happen clearly and with power, and receive the gift in joy."
I was thinking the other day that I didn't want to be doing what I was doing, smoking. And I recognize that part of that is seeing that I don't want to do something and not doing it. But part of it was also to see that that was what was happening right then and that was okay. That was one less time that I'll get to do that with N and feel how it makes me feel and I can shift my focus to emphasize that aspect. Certainly when I dont feel in control.
I definitely have felt like I've actively not been in the right place at the right time with the right preparation to take advantage of the opportunities life supposedly gives me. I punish myself a lot for that. I still feel like it is all my fault that I'm not further on in life. That I'm just floundering.
And then I'm told that my path is my own and there is no competition or line and that I'm doing fine. But I dont feel like Im doing fine....I feel like I'm no where near where I want to be. I know this drudgery is rife with fat to chew on but I can't seem to do both. I can't seem to take advantage of what is around me and what I am going through and still also be plodding forth.
Today, I will trust God's will is happening as it needs to in my life. I will not make myself anxious and upset by searching vigorously for God's will, taking unnecessary actions to control the course of my destiny or wondering if God's will has passed me by and I have missed it.