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|steppingstones (profile) wrote, |
on 6-30-2018 at 11:40pm
|I don't have words.
I'm more me than usual. More whole and solid. And it annoys me. It terrifies me. Even though this is exactly what I aimed for.
The fine line between not functioning and functioning is SO FINE. And suddenly being able to just do things and say things and hear things is SO FRUSTRATING comparatively. It's annoying as fucking hell to want to write what it's like to be one way or the other and be at such a loss of words to document how things worked, how things happened.
And now I realize that what would actually have been useful was documenting how each day felt. What the limitations felt like. What the functionality felt like.
So I want to try today. And now I have painful and painfully annoying hiccups and it's nearly midnight and I'm tired and I have feels.